Adjusting script

 Hello again! 

So my groupmates and I have been super busy trying to get everything finalized. The script is what I’ve been reviewing.  I’ve noticed that some of our sentences are too descriptive and too long. This makes it seem like the conversation is unnatural. I also wanted to make it very easy to memorize because, the longer the sentences are, the harder it is for the actors. I changed certain lines from some scenes. I also added some dialogue in places I felt was lacking. Our main goal is to create a dialogue that flows smoothly for both our actors and audiences. 

Some of the specific adjustments I made were, I added a note for us to include the names of our characters. At first we weren’t going to use or say any names but we decided that we should. we thought it would create more of a thriller feeling if we didn’t mention names.However now we think that in the introduction scene each character should obviously say their names because they are “introducing” themselves. We had to make slight changes in order to add names.Another specific adjustment I made was in the security camera scene. The dialogue was too vague in parts. Then the dialogue would become too descriptive. My goal for this scene was to create a nice even dialogue.I took out some of the more descriptive sentences.When I did that I replaced it with more a naturally flowing sentence.